Having had one set of twins and two close in age singletons, I would say both scenarios have their advantages and disadvantages, but are not at all the same!!
My two older boys were 16 months apart and at the time I did compare the situation to having twins. Well, along came the twins and I was wrong. Each situation is very unique and offers different challenges. I do think it’s more difficult with twins however the joy they bring is immeasurable.
Both situations have their difficulties but it is not the same. Having two newborn babies is different than having a newborn & a 1 year old. My twins are now 5 and I also have an almost 1 year old. I definately think it would be easier to have a newborn with my 1 year old than it was to have two newborns. But I do realize that there would be different problems in that scenario too. But with a 1 year age gap, each child is at a different stage. Having two kids in the terrible 2’s can try even the best parents patience. Simularities YES, the same NO! Each situation has its difficulties, each has it’s advantages. Sending my girls off to JK they had a partner…my son he will be going off to JK ALL alone(even if I had a newborn now they would both be in different school years)…
I have 5 children. My first 2 are 18 months apart, then 3 yrs later I had #3 and 3 yrs later had the twins. When I had only the first 2, I always compared it with having twins. Now that I have 8 month old twins, I can positively tell you it is NOT the same thing! With the older child you can put him in a high chair and give him a snack to keep him busy. The older child can play or watch a tv show while you are taking care of the baby. Plus (what I am going through now) you do not have 2 babies teething at the same time. It is definitely NOT the same! I hear this comment all the time too. Having two close in age is difficult, but in no way compares to having twins!
I had my twins first so I never new what it was like to have one baby. Then one of my twins was born with a disability and that added to the already present challenge of having newborns. Then 17 months later, I had a singleton. I have a lot of people tell me “it’s like having triplets” but I know it’s not. It might be close but it is definitly not the same. I feel that nobody else can really understand what it is like to have twins unless they themselves have had a set of twins!
I have both, two older singletons close in age and young twins! Totally not the same. Hard in someways but beautiful in others. My older children just do no have the same relationship as the twins do. Completely not the same!!!
When you have newborns you are getting to know them, how they like to be held, sleep patterns etc….if you have 2 children close in age you have gotten to know the likes and dislikes of the 1 year old. Multiples are a very different thing than 2 children close in age. It really irritates me when people with a couple of children close in age tell me how much HARDER they had it!!! I agree if you don’t have a set of multiples, you really cannot relate to my life.
My older kids are 17 months apart; there’s no way the twins are the same. I can say, that having another one 15 months after the twins does make it like triplets!
Same goes for grandparents! My mother-in-law kept saying she babysat her 3 older grandchildren…2 and 5 years apart…so she could definitely handle our twins. Suffice it to say, the 3 days a week she committed dwindled to 1 day! She’ll never admit it, but actions speak louder than words!
I have 7 month old boy twins and I get the comment all of the time..”I had babies that were 1 year apart so I pretty much raised twins” I do not agree with this. Having twins is way harder. It has its advantages that I will agree with but when when you have two babies that are up 3-4 times a night, two babies in infant carriers, two babies that get shots at the same time, etc. I don’t think that even compares to having kids 1 year apart. But they are my first kids (and probably my last:-) ) so I don’t know anything different, I love them and would not trade them for anything!! You get double smiles, double hugs and double the love!!
After reading some of the commments, I feel better with how I feel about twins. Having twins is NOT the same as having two close together. I have a 15 & 13 year old and twin girls who are 5 years old. So I do have first hand experience with having two close together and twins. I now get “at least your older two are OLDER” Well, that presents a different challenge when, at this moment, they are involved with volleyball, soccer and fastpitch and need I have to mention the friends? My twins don’t get home until about 8pm every night with all the running around I have to do and I am finding it hard to come up with the time to start them in something fun like soccer or swimming. I do work full time as well.
I have twins and singletons very close together. Both can be difficult and rewarding in very different ways. We have 9 children with all different combinations. Our twin experience was so different than our babies born a year apart. The relationship between them is very different, even their development was different. None of my singles were that aware at such a young age of anyone other that mom and dad. My twins did everything but walk early. It was interesting.
having twins even after a gap os less then 1 year aint much tuff,then a single mom having twins with no nanny atall
Comment by ebadullah khan — April 24, 2007 @ 11:07 am
I’m a mother of 12mos old twin boys, having kids close in age in nothing like having twins. I’m sure as the kids get older their might be some comparison of when you have kids close in age. But their is nothing like taking care of twin newborns at the same time! It’s a totally different expereience than raising sigletons that maybe close in age.
I think that it is harder to have two close in age rather than twins. I have a son and a daughter who are 15 months apart and fraternal twin boys. I thought it was harder to chase a toddler while trying to nurse a newborn. At least twins do everything almost together.I think there is more sibling rivalry between my son and daughter than my twin boys.
My husband and I are the gaurdians of almost 4 yr old twins, we are also the parents of two grown children, 2 1/2 yrs. apart. Having twins is nothing like having singletons. They are two children of the exact same emotional and intellectual age. Even a years age difference gives the older one more maturity, plus you are not potty training, etc. at the same time. Completely different and as I tell everyone, if you haven’t had multiples, you have no idea!
I have boy/girl twins 3 yrs 9 months. They are my first two, but I can tell you that noone knows what it’s like to have twins unless they’ve had them themselves. I think it is VERY different than having 2 singletons! I think one would be easy! The best advice I ever got when my twins were first born was that it does not get better, it gets different! Very true!
I have 4 children, the twins were last. I don’t think it’s the same, because of the issues in school, with friends, sport teams, etc. As a parent I had to deal with the one twin being better at football and the other at basketball and all the hurt feelings. There have been times where one is invited to a party and the other is left out – not a problem when the children are even somewhat different in age. Also in school now they insist on being in different classes (middle school) and they tend to “divvy up” their friends. I shudder to think what the competition might be like for girls when we get to high school next year. My older two always say how glad they are not to deal with some of these twin issues which I find is unique to being born at the same time.
Parenting at it’s best is a very personal experience. I know many stay at home moms with one child and can barely handle being a mom. Then there are those who manage very well working, and have not only twins but several other children. Having been in both situations (close in age and twins) I can say for me it is absoultely different. However, as insane as having twins can be, my life and experiences as a mother is so musch more enriched because of my twins. Parenting identical twins has been my “cross” to bare- but also the most amazing and rewarding event in my life.
Twins pose greater health risks during pregnancy and infancy; sleep challenges are multiplied not doubled; mom has mobility issues (more difficult to get around the house yet alone around the grocery store); two infant carriers are challenging; separation anxiety is also multiplied instead of doubled since one fusses while you attend to the other. There are also economic challenges since you must have two of many things and can’t reuse what the other has outgrown. Also different ages use up different kinds of energy – with two at the same age you are much more likely to get depleted. It can be fun to get the attention in public but it can also create a nuisance and slow you down when you are in a hurry. Many people say “I hope you have help” but few actually offer it.
Twins are definately harder!! And it is more difficult when you have twins plus other children that depend on you. I’m a small woman and trying to tote 2 infant car seats with my 8 mo. babies to the dr. is quite a workout. tandem strollers were too large folded to fit in my standard trunk and the side by side I bought is two wide to fit thru most doorways. Both babies are on their 6th tooth cut so teething since 3 months has not been fun. Nursing both was a major challenge when 99% of the time I was alone since hubby’s in the military. Now one is walking, one crawling so its chase the babies workout for me. I make my own baby food and diapers so my free time when they nap is not free. I am thrilled when I wake up in the morning if I did not have to transfer one of them and myself to another bed when one wakes in the night screaming. Plus all the issues #22 said I also have delt with. Their different personalities also affect everything as it seems the needy one will decide it can be without you at the same time as the content one decides it wants your attention. I can barely do anything without have to have one attached to me. And then you still have the homework and other things your other child needs help with. Double toys, double clothes and no alone time with spouse sometimes makes things even more tiring. But at the same time the little eyes and smiles I get back make all the difficulties and long hours worth all the trouble.
If you’ve not had twins, how can you possible compare? I have 8 children – the twins were a totally unique experience. NOTHING can compare. It’s a totally amazing privilege.
Raising twins is much harder than singletons…everything is doubled. Nursing, diapers, food, crying…! If you’ve never experienced twins, then don’t compare it.
When my third son was six months old I found out that I was pregnant with my twins. They are 13 months apart and I would say that it was and has been the most challenging time in my life. They are now 3 1/2 yrs and 2 1/2 yrs respectivly. It is easier in ways but harder in ways, but I will never regret having this life! It is loud in our house of five boys but it is great because they are my boys!
I too have 2 singletons and then twins – all born within 3 years…..and yes there are similarities, BUT definately NOT the same, although people like to think so!!!!
Having twins and having singletons close in age is NOT the same. I’m not saying that one is harder than the other, but caring for two newborns is different than caring for one newborn and one older baby.
I have a set of 9 year olds and we just adopted a set of 3 year olds, I don’t know what it is like to have one at a time. I can say that the bond between the boys is the reason that we wanted to adopt twins and not just one. I remember developing biceps when toting two baby carriers.
I have twin boys, and they were almost 13 months old when our youngest was born. Having personal experience with both, I definitely think the twins were/are much harder. Especially the first few weeks home – the sleep deprivation that you experience with twins (or more) is not something you can understand unless you’ve had them yourself!
I find it interesting that people who only have twins say it is nothing like having kids close in age but that parents (like myself) who have both say it is different but has it’s similarities. When people tell me they understand me, I try to use the similarities in the conversation and not point out all the ways they or I have it harder. My older two are a year apart and you do take them to the doctor at the same time, and I did have two in diapers and two on pacifiers. I think it’s easier for twins in some ways because the bad times go away quicker, you aren’t just getting done with teething only to start it all over again. A child at one year old i still a baby and needs a lot of attention so it is alike in many ways. I try not to be bitter about the people who want to feel like they can understand me. It’s people I don’t even know being compasionate towards me. I find that pretty amazing in itself.
I have triplets, and a friend of mine has 2 girls 14 months apart, when i watched what she went through, i thought wow, give me twins/triplets any day, now that they are a little older, its getting easier. I only have 1 school drop in the morning, can make the same lunches for all of them (breakfast is more complicated as they all have a choice). Its more difficult in the beginning, but what a bonus when they get older.
I have a three year old, and twin 15 month olds. Twins are not twice as much work, and once they got to about 10 months old they were easier than one baby because they would keep each other entertained. The real challenge was having a two year old along with the babies. I think a two year old and just one baby would still be more difficult than twins on their own. Every situation has its own challenges…
We have several sets of twins in my extended family and I can’t imagine anyone really thinking that having two close in age is THE SAME as twins. How could it be? I have a “just turned 5″ daughter and fraternal 14 mo. old twin boys – and boy are they fraternal!!! I’m so thankful I had my singleton first. At least some idea of how it goes with one newborn helped. However, those first few months were a daily if not hourly challenge. Looking back on their early pictures, it seems like another life-time. It may be “easier” with older twins for the reasons mentioned — always have a play-mate/pal. But, it is never easy having two running in opposite directions! I agree with what others have said about feeling truly blessed to have experienced being a Mom of one and a Mom of twins +1!!!!
I have a six year old and 8 month old boy and girl twins. I agree that it is different for everyone. Some may find it hard and some may not. I think the key is to be able to admit that it is not always easy or fun. If it is hard for you it is hard for you. It doesn’t matter that someone else says it was easier for them. I am having a hard time with the twins and the six year old. I found twins much harder than the singlton. Of course, my situation was different with each birth. My husband was home and helped with the first. Not to mention there was only one. With the twins. My husband was gone for the first six months and I had a kindergardner, no family to help and a couple of helpful friends but they had thier own kids. No matter how many kids you have it is hard. But how hard depends on your own situation. It is okay to say you are having a hard time and that this isn’t the happiest time of your life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids and that you don’t think that they are a blessing. It just means that at this moment you are not liking this parent thing and in the next moment you may love it.
I am sorry but I so disagree with people that say they understand what I am going thru having twins because they have child 13 months apart. Developmentally 13 months is huge when your children are under 5 years old. With twins there is NO age gap. They are the same age no matter what. But all in all children are their own people and it may or may not be easy. Lets just hope it is!!!!
Comment by turtletwins — September 30, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
I think having twins and having two children close in age is in some ways similar but not the same.
People always tell me that they had two close together so it’s just like they had twins, it’s not at all the same. They weren’t breast feeding two newborns at the same time! I’d say the first three months especially are challenging with two infants : )
Just the comment that having kids close in age is the same as having twins makes me angry. No offense, but my husband and I both worked full time while trying to raise infant twins. Did I mention that they were our first kids? At least with two close in age you get to learn on the first and are a litle wiser on the second. Not so with 2 at a time! I also got some horrible advise to sleep when the babies sleep, but with twins, they NEVER sleep at the same time!
I am the mother of 2 sets of twins all girls and 3 years almost to the day apart. I have never had a single birth but i will tell you i am always told that is much harder to have them 1year and 1/2 apart. I think people forget i have 4. I think that raising children is very difficult period. I also think that people should not compare our situations, each one is unique and different. I really dont know why people tell me that all the time I would never say to a mother of two small children that I have it harder.
I have 2 adopted children that I picked up from the hospital 2 days apart. I call them twins because to me even though they are 2 days apart in age it is like raising twins in every aspect. The differance was when they were born the adoptions were not yet final so I got no time off from work. Trying to work 10 hour days & be up with both babies every 2 hours was rough. They are now 4 and they have always shared a room and are very, very close.
I have three children; 9 year old, 7 year old and 10 months old and I am pregnant with twins that will be here well before my youngest reaches 1 in a half. I am scared!!! Why do us mothers have to go into who is more challenged??? We all work hard and no situations should be compared just shared. I am sharing my fear of what is to come but also how elated I am and how truly blessed I feel for what I’ve been dealt in this life time.
I had my 1st set of twins at age 18. My second set made their debut just after my 22nd birthday. My sisters had singletons around the same time. There is no comparison.
People who’ve never had twins have no idea what it’s like. In the first couple months, twin parents are very lucky to get more than 45 consecutive minutes of sleep. When one baby wakes to eat and change, the second is not far behind! If you happen to have a sick baby (like I did) then it is even more difficult.
My twins are now 9 and 12. They are sleeping all night and toileting themselves (THANK GOD) but they can still be very difficult…puberty x2, licenses x2, prom x2, graduation x2, college x2…everything is doubled.
Contrary to popular myth, twins do not have built in playmates. They don’t automatically share or take turns. They aren’t instant best friends. They behave just like all other children only they have a constant competitor.
Potty training x2 is an adventure. Twins will help each other undress, two together CAN get the diaper genie open and wear the soiled diapers as hats and fingerpaint on the walls and themselves (TRUST ME ON THIS!).
Granted siblings born close in age can do the same, however you don’t have two children going through the same stages at the same times…terrible two’s anyone?
Comment by GoingTwinsane — November 6, 2008 @ 11:17 am
Well, my sister and me(or I. cant remeber which) are born 10 years apart, and have our birthdays on the same day. But I disagree because over 10 years, parents can, and most of the time will, change in many ways which changes the children and their simularity
Yes, IT IS THE SAME THING. MY SISTER AND I WERE BORN IN THE SAME MONTH 13 MONTHS APART. HERE BIRTHDAY IS JULY 29 1972 AND MINE IS JULY 26, 1971. AND WE HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT SINCE I NOTICED IT AT THE AGE OF 20 21. I DONT KNOW WHY IT IS BUT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH COUNSELING FOR HER WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ALWAYS LACKING WITH LACK OF ATTENTION. WHAT IS GOING ON
No it is not the same at all.
I actually have two sets of twins who are nine months to the date apart. My first set (a boy and girl) were born July 29. My second set (two girls) were born April 29. For about 3 months of every year they are the same age.
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Having had one set of twins and two close in age singletons, I would say both scenarios have their advantages and disadvantages, but are not at all the same!!
Comment by Nelly — April 18, 2007 @ 5:31 pm
Nelly, you have very good perspective on this issue, having both situations within your family. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Comment by multiples — April 18, 2007 @ 7:17 pm
I have to disagree, my friend had girls 13 mths apart and i had twins, i think that its harder to have twins, than to have kids close in age.
Comment by ERICA — April 23, 2007 @ 7:51 pm
My two older boys were 16 months apart and at the time I did compare the situation to having twins. Well, along came the twins and I was wrong. Each situation is very unique and offers different challenges. I do think it’s more difficult with twins however the joy they bring is immeasurable.
Comment by Sheilia — April 24, 2007 @ 8:44 am
Both situations have their difficulties but it is not the same. Having two newborn babies is different than having a newborn & a 1 year old. My twins are now 5 and I also have an almost 1 year old. I definately think it would be easier to have a newborn with my 1 year old than it was to have two newborns. But I do realize that there would be different problems in that scenario too. But with a 1 year age gap, each child is at a different stage. Having two kids in the terrible 2’s can try even the best parents patience. Simularities YES, the same NO! Each situation has its difficulties, each has it’s advantages. Sending my girls off to JK they had a partner…my son he will be going off to JK ALL alone(even if I had a newborn now they would both be in different school years)…
Comment by Donna — April 24, 2007 @ 8:50 am
I have 5 children. My first 2 are 18 months apart, then 3 yrs later I had #3 and 3 yrs later had the twins. When I had only the first 2, I always compared it with having twins. Now that I have 8 month old twins, I can positively tell you it is NOT the same thing! With the older child you can put him in a high chair and give him a snack to keep him busy. The older child can play or watch a tv show while you are taking care of the baby. Plus (what I am going through now) you do not have 2 babies teething at the same time. It is definitely NOT the same! I hear this comment all the time too. Having two close in age is difficult, but in no way compares to having twins!
Comment by Debra — April 24, 2007 @ 8:54 am
I had my twins first so I never new what it was like to have one baby. Then one of my twins was born with a disability and that added to the already present challenge of having newborns. Then 17 months later, I had a singleton. I have a lot of people tell me “it’s like having triplets” but I know it’s not. It might be close but it is definitly not the same. I feel that nobody else can really understand what it is like to have twins unless they themselves have had a set of twins!
Comment by Kelly — April 24, 2007 @ 8:56 am
I have both, two older singletons close in age and young twins! Totally not the same. Hard in someways but beautiful in others. My older children just do no have the same relationship as the twins do. Completely not the same!!!
Comment by Lori — April 24, 2007 @ 9:19 am
When you have newborns you are getting to know them, how they like to be held, sleep patterns etc….if you have 2 children close in age you have gotten to know the likes and dislikes of the 1 year old. Multiples are a very different thing than 2 children close in age. It really irritates me when people with a couple of children close in age tell me how much HARDER they had it!!! I agree if you don’t have a set of multiples, you really cannot relate to my life.
Comment by Jennifer — April 24, 2007 @ 9:22 am
My older kids are 17 months apart; there’s no way the twins are the same. I can say, that having another one 15 months after the twins does make it like triplets!
Comment by Dodi — April 24, 2007 @ 9:29 am
Same goes for grandparents! My mother-in-law kept saying she babysat her 3 older grandchildren…2 and 5 years apart…so she could definitely handle our twins. Suffice it to say, the 3 days a week she committed dwindled to 1 day! She’ll never admit it, but actions speak louder than words!
Comment by Vicki in NJ — April 24, 2007 @ 9:34 am
I have 7 month old boy twins and I get the comment all of the time..”I had babies that were 1 year apart so I pretty much raised twins” I do not agree with this. Having twins is way harder. It has its advantages that I will agree with but when when you have two babies that are up 3-4 times a night, two babies in infant carriers, two babies that get shots at the same time, etc. I don’t think that even compares to having kids 1 year apart. But they are my first kids (and probably my last:-) ) so I don’t know anything different, I love them and would not trade them for anything!! You get double smiles, double hugs and double the love!!
Comment by Amber — April 24, 2007 @ 9:45 am
After reading some of the commments, I feel better with how I feel about twins. Having twins is NOT the same as having two close together. I have a 15 & 13 year old and twin girls who are 5 years old. So I do have first hand experience with having two close together and twins. I now get “at least your older two are OLDER” Well, that presents a different challenge when, at this moment, they are involved with volleyball, soccer and fastpitch and need I have to mention the friends?
My twins don’t get home until about 8pm every night with all the running around I have to do and I am finding it hard to come up with the time to start them in something fun like soccer or swimming. I do work full time as well.
Comment by Leah — April 24, 2007 @ 10:25 am
I have twins and singletons very close together. Both can be difficult and rewarding in very different ways. We have 9 children with all different combinations. Our twin experience was so different than our babies born a year apart. The relationship between them is very different, even their development was different. None of my singles were that aware at such a young age of anyone other that mom and dad. My twins did everything but walk early. It was interesting.
Comment by taylor — April 24, 2007 @ 10:39 am
having twins even after a gap os less then 1 year aint much tuff,then a single mom having twins with no nanny atall
Comment by ebadullah khan — April 24, 2007 @ 11:07 am
I’m a mother of 12mos old twin boys, having kids close in age in nothing like having twins. I’m sure as the kids get older their might be some comparison of when you have kids close in age. But their is nothing like taking care of twin newborns at the same time! It’s a totally different expereience than raising sigletons that maybe close in age.
Comment by Tanya — April 24, 2007 @ 12:01 pm
I think that it is harder to have two close in age rather than twins. I have a son and a daughter who are 15 months apart and fraternal twin boys. I thought it was harder to chase a toddler while trying to nurse a newborn. At least twins do everything almost together.I think there is more sibling rivalry between my son and daughter than my twin boys.
Comment by Brandy — April 24, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
My husband and I are the gaurdians of almost 4 yr old twins, we are also the parents of two grown children, 2 1/2 yrs. apart. Having twins is nothing like having singletons. They are two children of the exact same emotional and intellectual age. Even a years age difference gives the older one more maturity, plus you are not potty training, etc. at the same time. Completely different and as I tell everyone, if you haven’t had multiples, you have no idea!
Comment by Karen S — April 24, 2007 @ 2:21 pm
I have boy/girl twins 3 yrs 9 months. They are my first two, but I can tell you that noone knows what it’s like to have twins unless they’ve had them themselves. I think it is VERY different than having 2 singletons! I think one would be easy! The best advice I ever got when my twins were first born was that it does not get better, it gets different! Very true!
Comment by Nikki — April 24, 2007 @ 3:06 pm
I have 4 children, the twins were last. I don’t think it’s the same, because of the issues in school, with friends, sport teams, etc. As a parent I had to deal with the one twin being better at football and the other at basketball and all the hurt feelings. There have been times where one is invited to a party and the other is left out – not a problem when the children are even somewhat different in age. Also in school now they insist on being in different classes (middle school) and they tend to “divvy up” their friends. I shudder to think what the competition might be like for girls when we get to high school next year. My older two always say how glad they are not to deal with some of these twin issues which I find is unique to being born at the same time.
Comment by dyanne — April 24, 2007 @ 3:47 pm
Parenting at it’s best is a very personal experience. I know many stay at home moms with one child and can barely handle being a mom. Then there are those who manage very well working, and have not only twins but several other children. Having been in both situations (close in age and twins) I can say for me it is absoultely different. However, as insane as having twins can be, my life and experiences as a mother is so musch more enriched because of my twins. Parenting identical twins has been my “cross” to bare- but also the most amazing and rewarding event in my life.
Comment by kelly — April 25, 2007 @ 11:52 am
Twins pose greater health risks during pregnancy and infancy; sleep challenges are multiplied not doubled; mom has mobility issues (more difficult to get around the house yet alone around the grocery store); two infant carriers are challenging; separation anxiety is also multiplied instead of doubled since one fusses while you attend to the other. There are also economic challenges since you must have two of many things and can’t reuse what the other has outgrown. Also different ages use up different kinds of energy – with two at the same age you are much more likely to get depleted. It can be fun to get the attention in public but it can also create a nuisance and slow you down when you are in a hurry. Many people say “I hope you have help” but few actually offer it.
Comment by twinmom — April 25, 2007 @ 2:40 pm
Twins are definately harder!! And it is more difficult when you have twins plus other children that depend on you. I’m a small woman and trying to tote 2 infant car seats with my 8 mo. babies to the dr. is quite a workout. tandem strollers were too large folded to fit in my standard trunk and the side by side I bought is two wide to fit thru most doorways. Both babies are on their 6th tooth cut so teething since 3 months has not been fun. Nursing both was a major challenge when 99% of the time I was alone since hubby’s in the military. Now one is walking, one crawling so its chase the babies workout for me. I make my own baby food and diapers so my free time when they nap is not free. I am thrilled when I wake up in the morning if I did not have to transfer one of them and myself to another bed when one wakes in the night screaming. Plus all the issues #22 said I also have delt with. Their different personalities also affect everything as it seems the needy one will decide it can be without you at the same time as the content one decides it wants your attention. I can barely do anything without have to have one attached to me. And then you still have the homework and other things your other child needs help with. Double toys, double clothes and no alone time with spouse sometimes makes things even more tiring. But at the same time the little eyes and smiles I get back make all the difficulties and long hours worth all the trouble.
Comment by Monique — April 26, 2007 @ 4:07 pm
If you’ve not had twins, how can you possible compare? I have 8 children – the twins were a totally unique experience. NOTHING can compare. It’s a totally amazing privilege.
Comment by Corinne — April 28, 2007 @ 9:01 pm
Raising twins is much harder than singletons…everything is doubled. Nursing, diapers, food, crying…! If you’ve never experienced twins, then don’t compare it.
Comment by christy — May 1, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
When my third son was six months old I found out that I was pregnant with my twins. They are 13 months apart and I would say that it was and has been the most challenging time in my life. They are now 3 1/2 yrs and 2 1/2 yrs respectivly. It is easier in ways but harder in ways, but I will never regret having this life! It is loud in our house of five boys but it is great because they are my boys!
Comment by Stacey — September 11, 2007 @ 11:29 am
I too have 2 singletons and then twins – all born within 3 years…..and yes there are similarities, BUT definately NOT the same, although people like to think so!!!!
Comment by Sue — September 11, 2007 @ 4:00 pm
Having twins and having singletons close in age is NOT the same. I’m not saying that one is harder than the other, but caring for two newborns is different than caring for one newborn and one older baby.
Comment by LaDonna — September 11, 2007 @ 4:58 pm
I have a set of 9 year olds and we just adopted a set of 3 year olds, I don’t know what it is like to have one at a time. I can say that the bond between the boys is the reason that we wanted to adopt twins and not just one. I remember developing biceps when toting two baby carriers.
Comment by cesca — September 13, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
I have twin boys, and they were almost 13 months old when our youngest was born. Having personal experience with both, I definitely think the twins were/are much harder. Especially the first few weeks home – the sleep deprivation that you experience with twins (or more) is not something you can understand unless you’ve had them yourself!
Comment by Bree — October 9, 2007 @ 3:16 pm
I find it interesting that people who only have twins say it is nothing like having kids close in age but that parents (like myself) who have both say it is different but has it’s similarities. When people tell me they understand me, I try to use the similarities in the conversation and not point out all the ways they or I have it harder. My older two are a year apart and you do take them to the doctor at the same time, and I did have two in diapers and two on pacifiers. I think it’s easier for twins in some ways because the bad times go away quicker, you aren’t just getting done with teething only to start it all over again. A child at one year old i still a baby and needs a lot of attention so it is alike in many ways. I try not to be bitter about the people who want to feel like they can understand me. It’s people I don’t even know being compasionate towards me. I find that pretty amazing in itself.
Comment by Carisa — February 12, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
I have triplets, and a friend of mine has 2 girls 14 months apart, when i watched what she went through, i thought wow, give me twins/triplets any day, now that they are a little older, its getting easier. I only have 1 school drop in the morning, can make the same lunches for all of them (breakfast is more complicated as they all have a choice). Its more difficult in the beginning, but what a bonus when they get older.
Comment by Michelle — February 13, 2008 @ 1:44 am
I have a three year old, and twin 15 month olds. Twins are not twice as much work, and once they got to about 10 months old they were easier than one baby because they would keep each other entertained. The real challenge was having a two year old along with the babies. I think a two year old and just one baby would still be more difficult than twins on their own. Every situation has its own challenges…
Comment by Anita — July 12, 2008 @ 3:30 am
We have several sets of twins in my extended family and I can’t imagine anyone really thinking that having two close in age is THE SAME as twins. How could it be? I have a “just turned 5″ daughter and fraternal 14 mo. old twin boys – and boy are they fraternal!!! I’m so thankful I had my singleton first. At least some idea of how it goes with one newborn helped. However, those first few months were a daily if not hourly challenge. Looking back on their early pictures, it seems like another life-time. It may be “easier” with older twins for the reasons mentioned — always have a play-mate/pal. But, it is never easy having two running in opposite directions! I agree with what others have said about feeling truly blessed to have experienced being a Mom of one and a Mom of twins +1!!!!
Comment by KB, mom of 3 — July 18, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
I have a six year old and 8 month old boy and girl twins. I agree that it is different for everyone. Some may find it hard and some may not. I think the key is to be able to admit that it is not always easy or fun. If it is hard for you it is hard for you. It doesn’t matter that someone else says it was easier for them. I am having a hard time with the twins and the six year old. I found twins much harder than the singlton. Of course, my situation was different with each birth. My husband was home and helped with the first. Not to mention there was only one. With the twins. My husband was gone for the first six months and I had a kindergardner, no family to help and a couple of helpful friends but they had thier own kids. No matter how many kids you have it is hard. But how hard depends on your own situation. It is okay to say you are having a hard time and that this isn’t the happiest time of your life. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids and that you don’t think that they are a blessing. It just means that at this moment you are not liking this parent thing and in the next moment you may love it.
Comment by Valerie — September 9, 2008 @ 11:08 am
I am sorry but I so disagree with people that say they understand what I am going thru having twins because they have child 13 months apart. Developmentally 13 months is huge when your children are under 5 years old. With twins there is NO age gap. They are the same age no matter what. But all in all children are their own people and it may or may not be easy. Lets just hope it is!!!!
Comment by turtletwins — September 30, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
I think having twins and having two children close in age is in some ways similar but not the same.
Comment by josy — October 1, 2008 @ 9:43 am
People always tell me that they had two close together so it’s just like they had twins, it’s not at all the same. They weren’t breast feeding two newborns at the same time! I’d say the first three months especially are challenging with two infants : )
Comment by Mary — October 3, 2008 @ 9:57 pm
Just the comment that having kids close in age is the same as having twins makes me angry. No offense, but my husband and I both worked full time while trying to raise infant twins. Did I mention that they were our first kids? At least with two close in age you get to learn on the first and are a litle wiser on the second. Not so with 2 at a time! I also got some horrible advise to sleep when the babies sleep, but with twins, they NEVER sleep at the same time!
Comment by Elizabeth — October 11, 2008 @ 1:21 am
I am the mother of 2 sets of twins all girls and 3 years almost to the day apart. I have never had a single birth but i will tell you i am always told that is much harder to have them 1year and 1/2 apart. I think people forget i have 4. I think that raising children is very difficult period. I also think that people should not compare our situations, each one is unique and different. I really dont know why people tell me that all the time I would never say to a mother of two small children that I have it harder.
Comment by Janeane — October 14, 2008 @ 10:45 am
I have 2 adopted children that I picked up from the hospital 2 days apart. I call them twins because to me even though they are 2 days apart in age it is like raising twins in every aspect. The differance was when they were born the adoptions were not yet final so I got no time off from work. Trying to work 10 hour days & be up with both babies every 2 hours was rough. They are now 4 and they have always shared a room and are very, very close.
Comment by Jill — October 16, 2008 @ 4:23 pm
I have three children; 9 year old, 7 year old and 10 months old and I am pregnant with twins that will be here well before my youngest reaches 1 in a half. I am scared!!! Why do us mothers have to go into who is more challenged??? We all work hard and no situations should be compared just shared. I am sharing my fear of what is to come but also how elated I am and how truly blessed I feel for what I’ve been dealt in this life time.
Comment by Lisa — October 17, 2008 @ 2:20 am
I had my 1st set of twins at age 18. My second set made their debut just after my 22nd birthday. My sisters had singletons around the same time. There is no comparison.
People who’ve never had twins have no idea what it’s like. In the first couple months, twin parents are very lucky to get more than 45 consecutive minutes of sleep. When one baby wakes to eat and change, the second is not far behind! If you happen to have a sick baby (like I did) then it is even more difficult.
My twins are now 9 and 12. They are sleeping all night and toileting themselves (THANK GOD) but they can still be very difficult…puberty x2, licenses x2, prom x2, graduation x2, college x2…everything is doubled.
Contrary to popular myth, twins do not have built in playmates. They don’t automatically share or take turns. They aren’t instant best friends. They behave just like all other children only they have a constant competitor.
Potty training x2 is an adventure. Twins will help each other undress, two together CAN get the diaper genie open and wear the soiled diapers as hats and fingerpaint on the walls and themselves (TRUST ME ON THIS!).
Granted siblings born close in age can do the same, however you don’t have two children going through the same stages at the same times…terrible two’s anyone?
Comment by GoingTwinsane — November 6, 2008 @ 11:17 am
Well, my sister and me(or I. cant remeber which) are born 10 years apart, and have our birthdays on the same day. But I disagree because over 10 years, parents can, and most of the time will, change in many ways which changes the children and their simularity
Comment by mason — November 13, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
Yes, IT IS THE SAME THING. MY SISTER AND I WERE BORN IN THE SAME MONTH 13 MONTHS APART. HERE BIRTHDAY IS JULY 29 1972 AND MINE IS JULY 26, 1971. AND WE HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT SINCE I NOTICED IT AT THE AGE OF 20 21. I DONT KNOW WHY IT IS BUT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH COUNSELING FOR HER WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ALWAYS LACKING WITH LACK OF ATTENTION. WHAT IS GOING ON
Comment by calandra — March 30, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
oh yes and we look like twins very much one is just taller than the other
Comment by CALANDRA — March 30, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
No it is not the same at all.
I actually have two sets of twins who are nine months to the date apart. My first set (a boy and girl) were born July 29. My second set (two girls) were born April 29. For about 3 months of every year they are the same age.
Comment by Mrs.K — October 1, 2009 @ 11:00 pm